Overheard in the LockerRoom Centre Bell.
Les Canadiens de Montréal go a headful, their heads were chewed off in a speech they will never forget.
Consequences of being a Free Agent.
Starting from NHL to all Free Agents and other Players.
Look over your NEW CONTRACTS REVISED.
Old contract stands plus addendum. If not sure check big print in addendum no longer than 1/2 page – sign it with your blood.
I, ……., am a team player for les Canadiens de Montréal. I took this contract because:
1. I am very lucky to be one of the players chosen by GM, Coach and GM National NHL of North America. That person says nothing till she says something.
2. I will shall reply in the same form I am spoken to. GM of North America approval.
3. I shall tell my coach my health is shaky. He shall make the necessary arrangements should that happen. More bench than anything else.
4. I am here to grab the occasion or opportunity to score. I did not take lamaze lessons because the GM of North America said that I will forget it when the time comes. I shall try then to be alert, present capable and willing to pass the puck or just try to score that means that puck will see our stick more often then our opponents.
5. I shall respect all the rules LOL
6. I shall give good interviews and answer all questions no matter how much you want to slam your fist down their throats. Keep it for the coach in private.
Players: Signatures and in Block Letters.
Let me tell you how to address the puck. You see it. You see this contract. When you skate like moumoune, sainte-ni-touche be ready to pay the price $$$.
Your motto is: I want to be close to the FINALE. I want to go further in the semi-finales. The further I go, the more people come and see me at the Forum (may change name to Forum de Montreal) The more the GM of North America will make money. The more chances of me to get a greater salary.
Your debts are the pucks. Get rid of the puck. I shall pass the puck when I am totally aware that I won't be able to score. I shall give the right passes at à Larry Robinson. I shall skate faster than Larry Robinson. I shall be the most elegant gentlemen when I skate since you won't get to me. My nerves are not shattering because my opponents called me moumoune, go back home idiot, go play in the middle of the street make sure your mother is there to pass the Kool-Aid.
Free Agents? Good, even better. That means when you cannot respect your opponent by scoring in his net you will find yourself paying for the crowd to come and see you.
How much is YOUR contract worth? How much does it cost for the crowd to come witness your failures so they can agonise instead of you? $50 to $Thousands?
When the shoe will be on the other foot, you will have to charge your crowd to come see you play just to fucking lose – how much is the seat now? $2. $1. – how much is the hot dog, the drinks that you will serve unlimited? Provigo prices 12 wienners for $2. 12 buns for $2.
Why do I get the fucking feeling that all of a sudden you all become budgeteers. Did you think of the CEO of Bell, Pepsi-Cola, Coca-Cola, Molson and Labatt? Did you for just one fucking split of a second think of that fucking broke CEO? They all a budget. Your salary is NUMERO UNO. Sponsors want something in return.
Failures turn to become bankruptcies. You are going to become budgeteers while we all go broke because we have one good solid ounce of respectability towards you, the fucking losers.
Since you are all contractors, or, free agents with a contract – you have to pay CEO owner of Bell Media your rent to be there. You have to buy all the drinks, foods, etc.. from the sponsors CEO demands it. If its the SAME CEO OWNERS these sponsors can you guess why? TWATS. You are going to get Ford back. You are going to Labatt back. Your are going to get Molson back. You are going to get Pepsi-Cola back and you're going to get Coca-Cola back all twats just like you this new CEO OWNER is waiting for all these idiots including you to buy back their revenue.
If it's you paying – all of a sudden you are going to make sure the crowd is pleased. You are going to make sure you're stingy o-BOUUTTT. I want to see you succeed with that stinginess you wear on the ice and towards the crowd.
Then, you want to go play with Team Canada? You can't even do it on the ice from Bell Centre you're going to perform miracles with Team Canada? Go take a fucking spring summer fucking break and give us all a good one – get out of my fucking face and fuck off.
Muttering was heard: I can't wait to see that fucking day when Les Ballerinas de Montreal become les HABS du Forum de Montréal.